1 in 4

(Written 10/15/14 for Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness Day)



I never imagined I would be part of a statistic, but now I am 1 in 4.

I am the face of someone who miscarried her child.

Miscarriage is such a taboo topic. No one likes to talk about it because it's not pleasant. This makes mothers that have gone through this, feeling isolated and brokenhearted. All we want to do is tell the world about our precious angels. 

My tiny little baby had a heartbreat at 7 weeks.

I will never forget the pure excitement and joy when I heard those beats. 

The look of  happiness rushed over Adam's face. 

Curiosity over Victor's.

He was going to be a big brother.

But once those beats were quickly silenced,

Confusion set in. 

No answer to why it happend, it just did.

Losing a child at any age is gut wrenching.

It hurts deep in your soul.

Whether it be 6 weeks in the womb or they're 100 years old.

The pain never goes away, you just learn to deal with the grief and loss.

There are days that it gets to me. When Victor asks me about "his brother " or starts babying his stuffed animals, I have a hard time holding back tears. 

His brother should be in the other room sleeping in his old crib.

Victor should be telling him all about trains, fire trucks, and semis.

Or singing his silly truck songs.

I should be rocking my month old child in the old rocker,

Cuddling and inhaling that new baby smell.

But heaven gained an angel. 

So tonight I will light a candle for my son Gabriel. Even though he was with us for such a short time, he forever left an imprint on our hearts.


Today we remember and light candles for all the little babies that were gone to soon.