Two Cities Half Marathon

 I freaking did it. I ran a half marathon!!!! 13.1 miles!!! My legs are killing me right now, but it was so worth it. So now it's time for a recap:)

I was able to keep my pace for the first 4miles. After that it was a lot of hit and miss. A mix between running and power walking. By mile 8 I was an extreme leg pain. Which I already knew was because I don't think I stretched enough.

I can't really have any of the shot bloks or the gu because of my IC. So I just bought organic baby food that comes in those To-go packets. It fueled me through the entire race and kept my hunger at bay. It was also pretty yummy.

 Memorable Moments of the Race-

-Almost flipping a port a potty over

-Meant a girl that was trying  to keep pace with me! She told me she was following me because of my tmnt backpack. Haha made my day. Finished the last 1/2 mile with her. I was struggling to finish strong.

As soon as I passed the finish line, I collapsed. All the exhaustion hit me at once. The medic came over to help and take me to the resting area to cool of for a few minutes. I was burnt out!

Getting a video of Victor cheering me on. He maybe my littlest cheerleader but he's my biggest motivator.

Doing better than I expected. I averaged 14min miles and finished 3:14

So now I can say I did it, I'm capable of doing amazing things. Even while battling InterstitalCystitis.

On the days that I'm feeling down and having horrible pain, I'll remember how far I've come. That when you have faith and believe in yourself, your unstoppable.

Bib Number

Pre-Race

Mid -Race

Finisher!!!

Tired as Heck!!

1 in 4

(Written 10/15/14 for Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness Day)



I never imagined I would be part of a statistic, but now I am 1 in 4.

I am the face of someone who miscarried her child.

Miscarriage is such a taboo topic. No one likes to talk about it because it's not pleasant. This makes mothers that have gone through this, feeling isolated and brokenhearted. All we want to do is tell the world about our precious angels. 

My tiny little baby had a heartbreat at 7 weeks.

I will never forget the pure excitement and joy when I heard those beats. 

The look of  happiness rushed over Adam's face. 

Curiosity over Victor's.

He was going to be a big brother.

But once those beats were quickly silenced,

Confusion set in. 

No answer to why it happend, it just did.

Losing a child at any age is gut wrenching.

It hurts deep in your soul.

Whether it be 6 weeks in the womb or they're 100 years old.

The pain never goes away, you just learn to deal with the grief and loss.

There are days that it gets to me. When Victor asks me about "his brother " or starts babying his stuffed animals, I have a hard time holding back tears. 

His brother should be in the other room sleeping in his old crib.

Victor should be telling him all about trains, fire trucks, and semis.

Or singing his silly truck songs.

I should be rocking my month old child in the old rocker,

Cuddling and inhaling that new baby smell.

But heaven gained an angel. 

So tonight I will light a candle for my son Gabriel. Even though he was with us for such a short time, he forever left an imprint on our hearts.


Today we remember and light candles for all the little babies that were gone to soon.

Doubt & Determination

When I was younger I was told I couldn't do a lot of things. 

I never believed in my self. 

I never had confidence.

I never had the desire to challenge myself.

So I didn't set goals.

Fast forward to this year. 

Probably one of the most difficult years in my adult life. 

But because of these challenges

I'm finding my confidence, my strength,and my purpose. 

I'm finally believing in my self.

I set out to do about 6miles today and did 10!! Painful bladder and all! 

This girl doubted herself.  How dare she though! 

When I got home I cried tears of joy. I did it. 

It was tough. There were times I may wanted to possibly collapse.

But then I just turned the music louder and pushed harder. 

Blood, Sweat, and Hot Glue Gun Burns

Victor's Halloween costume is done! He insisted on being Wall-e this year. Me being so crafty, I got straight to work. I'm so happy how it came out. It's always so fun to make his costumes even when it gets difficult. That's part of the reason why I start making the costume in July haha. I'm so excited for Halloween now!

Our Littlest Angel

When my husband and I started our family four years ago, I would have never expected the joys, triumphs and of course the heartache we would go through. But that's the thing about life. It's not always so clearly outlined. Sometimes it's messy, hard, and not pretty.

Almost 4 years ago, I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy. Perfect in every way. Rewind to some months ago.We got wonderful news that we were expecting again. I wasn't worried at all. My first pregnancy was pretty normal, even with my chronic illness. We were thrilled .

We went to see our baby on a Thursday. His heartbeat was strong everything was normal. But by Saturday I was in the E.R. being told that there was no heartbeat. By Monday I was being seen to see if everything had "passed". It was a horrible whirlwind that I was unable to comprehend.

I was 8 weeks.

I sat and cried in the office. Trying not to lose my composure. Our baby was there a few short days ago going strong. Then just disappeared.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of Gabriel. Some days are harder than others. But it brings me comfort to know that so many women go through this heartbreaking loss. I'm not alone in my grief. And I've learned to celebrate my little angel's spirit.

On what would of been my due date and the birth of our second son, our little family had a little celebration. I know his spirit will always be with us, and that we will continue to honor our littlest angel.

Love Letters to the Little

Dear Baby Bear, 

It's been such along time since I last wrote to you. I can't believe how fast you've grown this year! You are such an amazing little boy! You have a wild imagination, are funny, kind, and sometimes a big smarty pants but I love every minute of it.

Interests: Any type of a vehicle, starting to become interested in boats, loves loves fire trucks, riding your scooter, singing and being a comedian

T.V. Bubble Guppies, Doc Mcstuffins, Paw Patrol

Food: Let's just say you are just like mama when it comes to this. You like basic foods with no seasoning. lol However you finally started liking hamburgers.

You love to workout with mama. But are becoming less patient on walks.

Some pictures of you from this year.

You are truly such a joy to me and your dad. We love you so much our little love♥

Home Depot Workshops

I would like to believe that I am a fun mom. I am constantly on the hunt for fun activities to do with Victor and  the whole family. It's even better when it's free.

Home Depot usually hosts a free kids event every month "to build something". This month was an ambulance, which was right up Victor's alley. It may have turned into Adam building it and me painting, but oh well right? Victor lost interest as soon as the fire truck and ambulance showed up. That's my boy!

My painting of it looks like a child did it. So maybe I'll just tell Victor when he's older he made it haha. It was a lot of fun though.:)


Here's the link to sign up for the next workshop!

http://workshops.homedepot.com/workshops/kids-workshops